JUNCTION NIGHTMARE: Monster Snack Attack!

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The HOD!!! was having an excellent time talking to Bill Balfour of Junction Nightmare. All in all we ended up spending about two hours in the EnterTRAINment Junction food court speculating over haunt marketing, discussing the Junction and its operations, reminiscing over older charity haunts, and listening to Bill relate his experiences of his time spent putting on Kings Island's FearFest event. We even worked in some conversation about the early history of steam locomotives. It was also a perfect vantage point to watch people entering-and then exiting-the haunt. After the HOD!!! had spent the better part of the last month slogging through muddy ground, being out in the rain and cold, and driving down deserted, treacherous roads while covering other haunts, we have to admit it was a welcome change of pace to be in the clean, heated, and comfortable confines of the EnterTRAINment Junction complex. Right off the highway and with free parking only a few yards from the entrance, it's the ultimate in hauntgoing convenience. Of course, it has its dangers, too, one of which had just leaped over the rope stretched across the entrance of Ripper's Revenge and was headed in our direction. No, it wasn't Jack-it was the event's host, the Coachman. The HOD!!! learned years ago never to sit with your back to the haunt entrance, so Bill had that particular dubious seat of honor. The Coachman headed straight for our table, produced a knife, and from behind plunged it into a very startled Bill right through the 'EnterTRAINment Junction' patch on his shirt. The Coachman gave out his best maniacal laugh, and Bill touched his chest to check things out. "Well," he said, "I guess I should be happy that at least he used a retracting knife this time!" You're not even safe in the food court here-a sneak attack could happen anywhere, although having taken place in the food court this one should be classified a Monster 'Snack' Attack!

The Coachman is in his second year of acting as the host for Ripper's Revenge, the first of two haunts under the Junction Nightmare aegis. "He's a senior at Wright State, and this will be his last year here. Like our first year, we're still recruiting many of our actors from the drama department at Wright State. Our Director of Actors is from there as well. Having them here works well with the actors we've recruited from Lakota West High-their experience benefits the younger actors and gives them someone to learn from. All of them take their jobs very seriously-the Coachman, for example, is already training his replacement for next season. Last year we had some actors from the former Night of Fright and Zombie Island haunts in the Fright Factory (the Junction's second haunt) and we also have actors that have followed us over from Kings Island." They're very much in evidence-Dave Bloom, actor/manager at the old Night Of Fright in Mason is manning the chainsaw in the Fright Factory (he's the guy whose face has been skinned), and the HOD!!! remembered Granny inside Ripper's Revenge from her days at KI's clown themed haunt. Bill went on to say that "…we try to match up actors with the parts they're best suited for-the big guys in the maze want to try being behind the drop panels, but they're designed to be used for smaller actors-the panels give them the best opportunity to startle people. The big guys are better off out in the open where people can directly interact with them." Last year the actors won the HOD!!!'s award for Best Cast, delivering on both a dramatic level in Ripper's Revenge as well as providing traditional haunt scares in the Fear Factory. The actors tend to have more time to interact with hauntgoers than is the norm at other haunts, and they take full advantage of it. Characters in Ripper's Revenge deliver more than the traditional 'help me' and 'get out' lines, engaging customers in conversations that are apt to go off into bizarre and macabre tangents. Just try getting away from Granny without complimenting her grisly choice of dinner entrees! The guys in the Fear Factory can (and will) keep you in their chain link maze kingdom as long as they want, and work great as a team. And don't let the little girl voices of the gal Klowns in the red and white Big Top maze fool you-they can be just as bad as their counterparts in the fence maze. The different acting styles of each attraction make for an interesting dichotomy and unique experiences in each.

Ripper's Revenge is set in London's Whitechapel district during the late 19th century. It's got very convincing detail which even holds up under the regular house lighting. When the effects lighting is switched on and the fog machines start running, it's like stepping back in time. Houses are entered, alleys with hanging wash and vendors lining the street are encountered, and there's evidence of Jack the Ripper's handiwork everywhere. At one point a dark clothes closet is entered, which exits into a roach infested hallway. The cemetery has an elaborate gate which leads to an even more elaborate mausoleum, which bears upon it the last name of the Junction's owner, Don Oeters. "When we switch over Ripper's Revenge to Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol', we change the name on the front of the Mausoleum to 'Scrooge'," says Bill. Looking closer, you can see where the slabs on the front of the mausoleum are indeed removable. Yes, Ripper's Revenge does double duty as A Christmas Carol during the holiday season, and that event brought in three times the amount of people that visit in a normal month. In fact, some of the same actors appear in both events. Check out the photo of 'Santa' at the bottom of the page-this actor really does play Santa during the Christmas event. Now, he's perched atop a table, slugging down hooch, smoking a big cigar, and roasting a rat over his fireplace. Ripper's Revenge also gives birth to Jack-O-Lantern Junction, the complex's daytime Halloween event for youngsters. Bill opens a door off to the side before entering the first house in Victorian London: "Here's where we keep all of the decorations and items we use for Jack-O-Lantern Junction. What we do is cover up anything gory or objectionable with decorations, put up extra decorations on bookcases and shelves, bring up the lighting, and it's a much more family friendly attraction." With the house lights up, one can also see a feature of the haunt that's not normally noticeable: the long central corridor that allows actors to access rooms directly without having to go through the maze. This year, the decision was made to have Jack the Ripper be more of an immediate threat-he strikes from out of nowhere very early in the tour, and is gone just as fast. This not only leaves hauntgoers a bit shocked and dazed, but also establishes his presence and places the thought in the crowd's mind that he can be ANYWHERE.

The Fear Factory is less theatrical, less somber, and more in your face. It doubles as the Funhouse during the Junction's regular operations, but lends itself well to being overrun with psychotic circus performers. The mirror maze in there is absolutely incredible-the HOD!!! has seen more than its share of these, but even we have to step carefully while slowly picking our way through. When told this, Bill laughs and says, "Yeah, I have a lot of people coming out rubbing their foreheads and saying, 'I don't think I broke the mirror when I ran into it, but…'" The vortex tunnel is noticeably turning faster than any other one in town. The Klown inside informed the HOD!!! that being the 'vortex clown' has ruined the effect for him-when he goes through a vortex tunnel now, he doesn't get any of the disorientation-a side effect of having been inside it so often. Bill points out the laser light at the end of the tunnel that projects a shifting image on the exit wall outside the tunnel. "We're trying to get it programmed to rotate in the opposite direction of the tunnel-that really adds to the effect inside. Right now it'll do that for awhile, but switches back to the other direction eventually," he muses. There's also an effective classic dot room where the creature gives it a new effect by hopping around up and down rather than just walking-it looks as creepy and strange as it sounds, particularly when you're being harangued by a Klown the whole time. Did we mention the clowns in here are apt to take a fancy to your company and decide to start following you around? Depending on your luck, you might turn around to see five or six of the grimy grinners traipsing about behind you. There's nothing quite like a haunt Klown shouting in your ear that they're going to be right behind you every step of the way, and that NOTHING bad will happen while they're there-certainly not! But somehow, it does anyway when you enter the chainlink fence maze. Last year our tour companion was carried out of the maze-this time, the HOD!!! had no such luck, as the four clowns on the premises found a dozen ways to keep us inside. Eventually, they got bored and turned us over to their female counterparts in the red and white Big Top-another maze where the girls try to lure you into dead ends, close doors behind you, shift walls, all the time giggling about how SOOOOORRRRYYYY they are. While this type of feminine behavior is probably familiar to every guy who's ever been manipulated by a woman (ie, ALL of us), at least here you can have a good laugh over it in addition to the frustration.  There's more, like a breathing 'claustrophobia' tunnel and a room battered by wind (and containing a big surprise)-and of course, we previously mentioned Faceless Dave the Chainsaw Guy earlier. While the Junction isn't allowed to use a gas powered chainsaw for health and safety reasons, it didn't care for the sound their electric chainsaw made. They beefed things up a bit this year by using the sound of a regular chainsaw to get a bigger crowd reaction.

As we related last year, Bill had a big hand in putting together Kings Island's annual FearFest event (that's what it was called before changing names to Halloween Haunt). While this article is about Junction Nightmare and not KI, we did want to take the opportunity to address one question that we get asked all the time-"Why doesn't KI do something to make the train ride to Tombstone Terror-tory more exciting?" Well, as the HOD!!! has speculated in the past, it has to do with safety reasons, not a lack of imagination on the park's staff. Bill says, "Like everything else, the train is considered a ride, and we had to go through a lot to even get it approved to use with one of the haunts. The ride inspectors were very specific-no one could stand on the train, no one could jump on or off, no one could be running alongside it-basically, it could only be used to get everyone from the station to the Whitewater Canyon area. Even allowing us to stop the train and unload everyone was a big deal, since people getting off had to cross the tracks behind the train. A gate had to be raised, the train wasn't allowed to start up until everyone had crossed the tracks behind it, gravel had to be laid down and people with flashlights put along the way-and even then, we weren't sure it would be approved." It's something to remember the next time you're at an attraction and they don't have that great effect that you KNOW is just a natural-they've probably thought about it too, but can't get it past the fire marshal.

Junction Nightmare is still in its formative years and has aspects it's trying to improve upon. Having been told by some patrons they had trouble finding the event from the highway, Bill's taken to parking his van on the corner with a 'This Way To Junction Nightmare' on the side (hint-it's really simple-if you're coming from Cincinnati, turn right while getting off at Exit 22, take the first right onto Kingsgate, and then the first right after that onto Squire Ct-you're there!). They're trying different things with their marketing-ranging from electronic billboards (which the HOD!!! saw on our way to the haunt), newspaper ads (which we also saw on page 2 of the Enquirer), ramping up their website (with a cool flash game and new content), and letting Channel 64 film live bits for a Scary Movie Marathon on the premises. The $15 admission price can be lowered as much as 50 % by using the coupon available on their website, effectively making it one of the most inexpensive haunts in town. They're already thinking ahead to next year, planning some changes for Ripper's Revenge. When the HOD!!! mentions that the impressive horse drawn carriage in the first room could use a horse-preferably a dead one-Bill responds with "I can see it now-one of the other actors will interrupt the Coachman's speech and tell him that he's beating a dead horse!" The Junction surely isn't beating a dead horse-it's one of the more unique attractions in town and well worth a trip-not to mention a great place to hang out in comfort. It's so great they've begun to host Junction Nightmare parties for groups of larger than 25 (see below for details). Just make sure you don't invite the Coachman to one-or else you might be the target of his next Monster 'Snack' Attack!